Tutoyer and Vouvoyer in French: The Language of Intimacy and Respect

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In French, there are two important concepts used when addressing someone: "tutoyer" and "vouvoyer." These go beyond the simple difference between "you" (informal) and "you" (formal) and are key to understanding French culture and social relationships. It's important to note that these concepts differ from the honorifics used in many other languages.

 

1. Tutoyer: Expressing Familiarity

 

Tutoyer means using the informal pronoun "tu" (pronounced "tew") to address someone. It conveys friendliness, comfort, and intimacy and is mainly used in the following situations:

 

• Family and Friends: Tutoyer is naturally used among close family and friends. For example, you might say, "Tu veux aller au cinéma avec moi? (tew vuh ah-lay oh see-nay-mah ah-vek mwah?)" (Do you want to go to the cinema with me?).
• Children: Regardless of age, tutoyer is used when addressing all children. You might ask, "Tu as bien dormi? (tew ah bee-ehn dor-mee?)" (Did you sleep well?).
• Colleagues: Tutoyer can be used among colleagues if they have a close relationship, but it's important to be mindful of workplace culture, as it can vary.
• Informal Settings: In casual settings like parties, bars, or sports events, tutoyer is often used even with people you've just met. You might say, "Tu t'appelles comment? (tew tah-pel koh-mah?)" (What's your name?).

 

2. Vouvoyer: Expressing Respect

 

Vouvoyer means using the formal pronoun "vous" (pronounced "voo") to address someone. It conveys respect, politeness, and formality and is mainly used in the following situations:

 

• Strangers: When addressing someone you don't know or are unfamiliar with, it's polite to use vouvoyer. For instance, you would say, "Vous pouvez m'aider, s'il vous plaît? (voo poo-vay meh-day, seel voo pleh?)" (Could you help me, please?).
• Elders: It's customary to use vouvoyer when addressing people older than you, especially those who are not close relatives. You might ask, "Vous avez passé un bon weekend? (voo zah-vay pah-say uhn bohn week-end?)" (Did you have a good weekend?).
• Authority Figures: Teachers, bosses, and other authority figures are usually addressed with vouvoyer unless they specifically invite you to use "tu." You would say, "Vous êtes professeur? (voo zet proh-feh-suhr?)" (Are you a teacher?).
• Formal Settings: In professional or formal settings like business meetings or job interviews, vouvoyer is expected.

 

3. From Vous to Tu: A Change in Relationship

 

The transition from vouvoyer to tutoyer signifies a change in the relationship. It's a crucial sign indicating a deeper sense of familiarity and comfort. Usually, the older or more senior person initiates the switch, but sometimes both parties may mutually agree to make the change.

 

Dialogue

 

Emily: Benoît, I'm so confused about French subject pronouns. Especially "Tu" and "Vous," I'm not sure when to use which.

 

Benoît: Ah, I see, Emily! "Tu" means "you," but it's used when you're speaking informally, like with close friends or family. On the other hand, "Vous" means "you" (plural) or "you" (formal), and it's used when you're speaking to multiple people or when you need to be polite.

 

Emily: So, I can think of "Vous" as a formal way of saying "you"?

 

Benoît: Exactly! "Tu" is informal, and "Vous" is formal. For example, you would ask your teacher, "Vous êtes professeur? (Are you a teacher?)"

 

Emily: Now I get it! How do you distinguish between "Il" and "Elle"?

 

Benoît: "Il" replaces masculine nouns, and "Elle" replaces feminine nouns. For example, a male teacher would be "Il est professeur," and a female teacher would be "Elle est professeur."

 

Emily: Ah, that makes sense! You said "Ils" and "Elles" are the plural forms of "Il" and "Elle," right?

 

Benoît: That's right! "Ils" is the masculine plural form, and "Elles" is the feminine plural form. For example, if there are multiple male teachers, you would say "Ils sont professeurs," and if there are multiple female teachers, you would say "Elles sont professeurs."

 

Emily: Wow, thanks to you, Benoît, I finally understand French subject pronouns! Thank you so much!

 

Benoît: You're welcome, Emily! Keep up the good work with your French studies!